Searching for Gold instead of Wheat

So, this morning has been kind of a weird one. Not weird in a bad way but in a good way, like everything kind of connected. Brandon and I were having a conversation last night about what he wants to do with his life and how we want to live. I have a hard time not having things planned out, so when he says I will figure it out, it makes me super nervous. I want him to know exactly what he is going to do, when he will do it and how he will. But see, he doesn't work that way and never will, which is fine, but I just have to learn how to handle it and trust that he knows what will come next.

I went to the coffee haus this morning on my way to work, and had a little bit of quiet time there before I left. I was reading about conformity in the bible, and how as Christians, we should not conform to this world. How if we are friends with the world, we are enemies of God, because God hates the world. So really, Brandon has everything figured out way more than I do, because he doesn't worry about worldly things such as money and jobs, while I do. I know I shouldn't worry about those things, because God will lead us and take care of us no matter what. I also read James 4:14 which says What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Pretty much don't plan for tomorrow, because you don't know what tomorrow holds. Don't plan on the things you will do in the years to come, but rather what the Lord will lead you to do in the years to come. Its crazy to think of things like this, but it makes so much sense because really what if you are gone tomorrow? All of your planning is useless.

So then the second part of my morning is Brandon calling me with a sort of light bulb moment. He called to tell me that he doesn't want to search for wheat in this life but instead search for gold. Like how I will be a teach, its not because of the wheat, like money, summers off and so forth, but its for the gold, the helping of people. He wants to find something that he does for the gold and not the wheat. Its weird how when he put it like that, it eased my mind, and made me more comfortable. I know that he wants to play music for the right reasons, and not for the wheat. He wants to reach people with his music and his talents, just like I do with mine.

So in this life, I am going to try and not to conform to this world, because it doesn't lead anywhere. I am also going to try to follow the right path and not the path of the wicked. I will also try to humble myself before the Lord, because he will lift me up. I want to seek Gold in this life, not wheat, which fades.

Life.... ever fleeting

One of the most valuable and fleeting things is life. How can you be here one minute and gone the next? Do we take this precious thing for granted? Do we think we are indestructible? Like nothing can or will happen to us? Do we think nothing will happen to our loved ones? Why do we continue to live like we are going to be here for an eternity? What if you don't wake up tomorrow? What if someone decides to end your life tonight? Have we said everything we need to say to our loved ones? Have we taken them for granted? Have we taken life for granted? What would you say to them if you were on the verge of death? What would you want them to know? If you died today would your life be fulfilled? Have you done everything that you have wanted to do? Have you lived your life to the fullest? Have you loved, smiled, sang, danced everyday?? Or have you sat behind your desk everyday counting down the hours and hoping that tomorrow is better?

Dream as if you will live forever. Live as if you will die today. James Dean

I have been searching and searching lately for the meaning of my life, and the way that I should go. But, as I am searching, I am wasting my precious life looking for something I may never find, or accomplish. I will not live forever, and with every passing year, I am getting older. I want to do so many things! I have so many dreams and ideas in my head, but yet I am standing still.... WHY??? So does this mean to make a "bucket list?" Does it mean to mark off things one by one? Or do I just need to wake up everyday and do something that is scary and risky? At what point in time are you completely 100% satisfied with your life?

So I know this is all a little heavy for so early on a saturday morning, but it all started last night. A friend of mine went to a local bar last night, and I don't know the specifics, but he was held and robbed at gunpoint. He is my age, and has so much life ahead of him. He is safe, but its just that it is a really scary thing, and I cant imagine how he is feeling. I am so thankful that he is ok, and that he is alive to enjoy the day. It just sucks that sometimes life has a funny way of waking you up. Its like life just happens and sometimes its not the best but at the end of the day everything will be ok.

Its just goes to show, that it is time to wake up and live this life to the fullest! Don't delay and say tomorrow will be better, because what if tomorrow never comes. Then what??

TIME

Why is it that no one has enough time? Is it we don’t have enough time or is it we don’t use our time wisely? I know we wait until work is over and want time to go quickly but why? We are just counting down the hours, minutes and seconds. Are we going to count our lives away? Why do we count down our life? Our life is meant to be great and exciting! We are supposed to savor every moment! You know seize the day! Why don’t we do that? I know everyday I sit at work and wait for the day to be done, only to do what? Waste more time on the Internet, watching TV or just wasting time. Shouldn’t we be doing something that makes life better where we don’t have to count down the hours? Why are we on Earth anyway? What exactly did God put us on the Earth for? I know it’s not to sit around counting down our lives. I also know its not to be miserable working the 9-5 everyday and hating life! We are here to walk in his footsteps, and to spread the Word, and to reach out to our brothers. So why do we focus on worldly things? It says in Romans 12:2 “Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” So why do we sit here and focus on working to make more money to buy more THINGS??? Why do we want money, cars, houses and material things? Where is it going to get us? Is it going to make us happy? Is it going to make our job better? Is it going to make us count down the workday any less? So then the question is, will we be happier if we quite our horrible job and sell all of our possessions? Is this the thing that needs to be done to really enjoy this life and enjoy the Earth and enjoy what God has created for us? So should we be poor and follow Jesus and just be missionaries to our brothers? Will that help? I know the bible says to not follow the flesh, or desires of this world. But where does that lead us? Do people who make a lot of money feel better? Do they conform to this world? Do they help out their brothers? Pink Floyd said it best:Money get away, Get a job with more pay, and you’re O.K.

So all of this has come about because work is really getting to me. Something I use to enjoy and love spending time at is no longer fun. Its no longer rewarding and I dread the day, and count down the hours. So then what do I do? Quit and hope to get another job? Or just wait it out?